Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
