their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
