i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
