im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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