Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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