I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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