Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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