I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I need a beard to bite.
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