Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
don't judge my taste in strippers
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
