People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
