Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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