i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
