And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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