dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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