So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
