Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize