I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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