I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
