theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
