I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
