Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
