you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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