you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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