You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize