Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
