Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
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