I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
