that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
