how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
