can we get nightvision for the apartment?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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