my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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