I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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