for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
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