The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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