Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
