Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
