69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
