Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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