do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
