Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
