just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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