I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
