It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
