Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
