Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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