butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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