Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
not ubering you a puppy
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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