Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
