I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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