For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
