Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Sober January is a disaster.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
