Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
