I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
