There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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