it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
