HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize